Akatsuki Proposals
by Pepper Gem
Summary: The Akatsuki find those special girls and decide to propose...
1. Proposals

Proposals

**Proposals?!**

**Akatsuki proposals: what ever will they do?**

**In honor of my friends Kira (Kashi) and Maggie (Eden) )**

**(****In order of Akatsuki rings:)**

**#1: Pein**

'**Twas the night of a full moon, and all of Akatsuki was off of missions – Pein was finally travel-free for a few days until he'd have to coordinate more jobs for the others. So, during this free time, he decided to ask Konan on a date.**

**They took a walk together under the stars well into the morning and eventually watched the sunrise together.**

**As the glowing red light inched upward, Pein decided it was TIME! (LYKE YAY!)**

"**Konan…" he stood up, and Konan did the same, thinking something was wrong.**

"**What is it?" she asked, sensing nervousness about Pein.**

**He knelt down and took her hand.**

"**Will you…"**

**Konan gasped.**

"**Marry me?"**

"**What?! Yes! YES!!"**

**Pein took out a little box and opened it. Before Konan was a gleaming, sparkly, expensive, best-quality…**

**Lip piercing.**

**#2: Deidara**

"**Look at that sky, un!" Deidara said, watching the same sunrise in a completely different hideout. "Such transient beauty!" **

"**It's as vivid as the flames that result from your exploding art!" Mio looked at the sky's bright reds and oranges in awe.**

"**Even the very earth we live in seems to scream out that art…"**

"**Is a blast!"**

"**Hm!"**

**The two laughed, and afterward, Deidara handed Mio a piece of clay.**

"**Here, make something out of it. Then I'll put on a show, un!"**

**Mio created three small birds out of the clay, which Deidara brought to life and sent flying through the air.**

**They broke apart into thousands of little butterflies and each one gave a huge explosion that faded into the color of the sun. Falling onto the grass, they sat and watched the display of 'fireworks' with glowing smiles.**

"**Say…" Deidara reached into his bag and turned so that Mio couldn't see. "Close your eyes for a minute."**

**He crafted a ring out of clay (being careful not to infuse it with explosive chakra!) and crafted a case for it to rest in.**

**Mio, on her count to 60, still had her eyes closed.**

"**Mio-chan!" Deidara finally faced her. Using both hands, he offered her the box.**

"**Marry me, un?" he winked his single eye.**

"_**ZOMGFLABBERSHNAFFLEYESIWILLPOWERSTIRKEDONTEATYELLOWSANDNESSLYNESS!"**_

**Deidara paused. "I think that was a yes?"**

**Mio nodded her head furiously. "**_**MHMMMM!!"**_

**She peeked inside of the box and tilted her head.**

"**This ring is the size of a hamster paw…"**

**Deidara created the Inu and I hand-signs which brought the ring to 'life' – **_**gold **_**with a giant sparkly **_**diamond **_**in the middle. Better yet, it fit! He couldn't help but to laugh when Mio squealed her head off with happiness…**

**#3: Konan**

**Since when do girls propose to guys who just proposed to them a few hours before?**

"**Hey," says Kakashi, "To pass the time that this spot was supposed to take up, why don't I do a dance?"**

**Kakashi dances the Can-Can, whilst obnoxiously saying Zeeky Boogy Doog one million times over and laughing in a scary way. The whole world eventually explodes.**

**#4: Itachi**

**Itachi sat in front of a warm fireplace, inside one of the more recent Akatsuki hideouts. He was intently reading a book on the couch.**

**Beside him (and reading the book with him) sat Eden, who used all of her knowledge and power to find this Akatsuki hideout because she read online that she was Itachi's perfect match. Itachi never really spoke to her much, but it was obvious that he didn't mind having her around.**

"**What's the title of this book anyway? It's really good!" Eden asked.**

"**Icha Icha Violence…I couldn't stand the first one, so I skipped over to this one. Death and doom. Lots of doom." **

"**Yeah but…the main character is proposing to her right now! Could it possibly be that sad?"**

"**I read it before. Her psycho ex comes and kills him, if you really wanted to know."**

**Eden blinked.**

"**What is it?"**

"**Well,**_** I**_** don't **_**have**_** a psycho ex capable of killing **_**you**_**!" she smiled.**

**Itachi smirked and activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.**

**Eden quivered with fear as she found herself being sucked away into the Tsukuyomi world. But…The world morphed into the scenery that was described in Icha Icha Violence: a clearing in the middle of a sunny forest filled with green grass and white stone ruins brushed with ivy.**

"**Itachi?!" Eden gasped. "What's going on?!"**

**Itachi kneeled before Eden and held out to her a black onyx ring with a gold-edged red and white Uchiha emblem carved into it.**

"**Will you…uhh…" Itachi turned a little red.**

**Eden was stunned. "He's being **_**shy**_**?! KAWAIII!!"**

"…**Marry me?"**

"**YAYNESSLYO! YES!"**

**They eventually slipped back into the real world, and Eden fell asleep in Itachi's arms in the warmth of the fire.**

**#5: Zetsu**

"**Zetsu?" his white half asked.**

"**Yeah, Zetsu?" his black half replied.**

"**We've been together our entire life."**

"**Oh, I**_** never **__**realized**_** that!! You idiot! What's your point?"**

"**Well…I find it weird that we're not legally 'joined'."**

"**We're **_**physically**_** 'joined'…that's more than legitimate! Wait…" The black-half looked inward as a way of trying to look the white half in the eye. "Are you going through an identity crisis again? Y'know… remember the whole 'I AM ALOE VERA, NOT A VENUS FLYTRAP' thing? Now you're trying to tell yourself that you're the **_**opposite gender**_**?!"**

"**Well yeah. We should get married. That way, I don't have to feel guilty about sharing my bed with you every night."**

"**Zetsu! We're the same person! No one's sharing a bed with anyone!"**

"**Oh c'mon."**

"**NO. I'm not marrying you!"**

"**Please?"**

"**NO!!"**

"**I have a fresh HUMAN sitting somewhere in our hideout that I won't reveal where until you say yes!"**

**The black half's eye almost started to cry. "Fine."**

"**Let's do it officially!"**

**The black half sighed.**

"**Zetsu…" the Zetsu entity kneeled down, "Will you marry me?"**

**The white half took Sasori's old ring that he was about to give to Tobi and offered it to his other half.**

"…**...Yes……." Black Zetsu hoped no one was watching.**

**The black half offered up his own Akatsuki ring, replacing it with Tobi's and the white half wearing Zetsu's on the thumb that Sasori wore his ring on (if that makes any sense.)**

"**Can I sing 'Here Comes the Bride?"**

"**HECK NO!"**

"**BUT-"**

**Zetsu covered his mouth. He had a disadvantage this way: he himself couldn't speak, either. So…**

**#6: Orochimaru**

**-after Eden broke up with Itachi because they weren't really alike after all XD-**

"**EEEDDDDEEEENNN…" a snaky whisper echoed through the dark Akatsuki lair, lit dimly by a single candle whose flame was waning.**

"**Yes, Orochimaru-sama?" she replied.**

**He emerged from the shadows with a malicious grin.**

"**I would like…for you to surrender your all to me," he lifted her head by placing a finger under her chin and coldly staring into her eyes, "for you to obey whatever I tell you to do, help me with experiments and provide useful insight when I need it."**

**Eden opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted.**

"**I know, I know, you're wondering what you'll get out of this… 'agreement'."**

**His grin grew wider. "The Mangekyo Sharingan."**

"**What?!" Eden shrieked. She froze when she sensed something else in the shadows. Light reflected off of two red eyes.**

"**I don't know what you're planning, Orochimaru, but it ends here!" Itachi, Eden's psycho ex, caught Orochimaru by surprise and attacked him with the Mangekyo – killing him.**

**Eden didn't know what to say. "So this is how sad Icha Icha Violence gets!"**

**#7: Kisame**

**As you probably know, every time Itachi and Kisame headed to Konoha for undercover missions, they always made sure to stop at the Dango Shop that served only the best. But, little did Itachi know that, as they camped out in hotels during the nights, Kisame snuck away to visit Ayame: the daughter of the man who runs the Dango Shop's hardest competition, Ichiraku Ramen!!**

**So, one night, he actually asked Ayame to marry him. But, even though she loved him dearly, she turned him down – she knew how much trouble Kisame would get in if he married the heir of Ichiraku Ramen but always ate at the Dango Shop.**

**What was Kisame to do? He and his true love would one day be separated by food if he didn't do anything about it!**

**He came up with a plan. One bright morning as he and Itachi walked to the Dango Shop, Kisame announced that he had to use the restroom. He used a water-clone jutsu when he was in there and had it go back out to meet Itachi. Meanwhile, the real Kisame knocked a chef out and stole his identity. He snooped around the kitchen and eventually did find the top-secret Dango recipe! But…his brain was kind of small…and he couldn't remember the whole thing, so how would he take the single copy of the recipe with him?**

"**Listen up!" he disguised himself as the owner of the shop and spoke to all of the chefs. "Production has been slow, so we're going to have a drill today! All of you must be able to memorize exact ingredient amounts and steps so that you won't have to use this sheet!" Kisame pointed to the top-secret recipe sheet that was quite worn down from so much handling.**

"**Yes, sir!" everyone said and quickly studied the list.**

**While their minds were busy trying to remember what came next, Kisame wrote the recipe down on a napkin and tucked it in a pocket. The water clone that accompanied Itachi then announced that it had to use the restroom so that the real Kisame could go back.**

**Later that night, Kisame snuck over to Ayame's again and gave her the top-secret dango recipe and told her to serve it at Ichiraku Ramen and Dangos.**

**The next day that Itachi and Kisame spent in Konoha, Kisame nudged Itachi on the shoulder.**

"**Maybe we should try Ichiraku today," Kisame hinted. "I hear they improved their menu."**

"**Ok, Kisame, we'll go there."**

**And so they did.**

"**They serve dangos? Since when?!" Itachi stared at the menu on the wall."**

"**I'm gonna try some!" Kisame ordered a plateful of them and handed one stick to Itachi.**

**Itachi's face lit up. "These are as good, if not better, than the other shop we go to."**

**So, Kisame got to spend his dango-eating time staring at Ayame's pretty face. That night, she accepted his proposal, promising that she'd always wait for him to re-visit Konoha. ) Yay for happy endings!**

**#8: Kakuzu**

"**How much money**_** do**_** I have?" Kashi counted one bill at a time, for she hadn't counted it in a while. She was planning on buying a new set of kunai as hers were getting dull.**

"**Want me to count it for you?" Kakuzu sat beside her and gazed longingly at all the cash. **_**Since when do women get more money than me?! I know! I have an idea!**_

"**Shh. I'm counting."**

**Kakuzu was stunned – he used this excuse **_**all the time!! **_**He must've found his perfect match!!**

"**Two hundred and five, two hundred and six, two hundred and seven…" Kashi counted.**

**When she was done, Kakuzu quickly and effortlessly told her all the good brands of kunai, all the bad ones and, depending on the quality, how many sets of kunai she could buy.**

"**Thanks, Kakuzu! How do you think of that stuff so fast?"**

"**I uhh…research a lot!"**

**Kashi smiled and thanked him again.**

**Kakuzu sent an arm into his room and brought it back out.**

"**Marry me and love me for richer or poorer and share that money with me?!" Kakuzu revealed that his hand had grabbed a shiny ring from his room.**

**He grinned evilly and thought **_**Little does she know I only spent five dollars on that thing! It's made of gold-painted steel and glass instead of diamond!**_

"**Say what?!" Kashi blinked.**

"**Did you not hear me?"**

"**You like….'love' me??"**

**Kakuzu gave her puppy-dog eyes.**

"**No! I will not marry you!"**

**REJECTED!!**

**#9: Hidan**

**Hidan was journeying between two Akatsuki hideouts to go meet up with Kakuzu. When the sun set below the horizon and all went dark, he decided he'd better find a place to sleep and perform his ritual before he angered Jashin.**

**When he awoke, he tried to find a water source to wash off all the blood that now covered him.**

"**Where's a freaking river?!" Hidan marched to the edge of the forest, searching for any form of cold flowing water. "Aghh! Bleep it all!!"**

"**Aggh! Bleep it all!" he heard what he thought was his echo, until he realized that the echo didn't match.**

"**Stupid Orochimaru!" the other female voice continued, "Sending me off to get some bleeping Sauce-**_**gay**_**, dangit! He's _SO_ **_**gay**_**! Gaah, this water is bleeping cold!! I can't bathe in this!"**

**Hidan ran as fast as he could toward the voice and eventually found that he was looking at a river and a pink-haired girl.**

"**Bleeeeep!!" Tayuya grabbed her Sound robe as quickly as possible and covered herself with it. **

"**That's no way to treat an immortal!" Hidan whined and stomped over to her. **

"**Forgive me!" Tayuya shook with fear when he mentioned he was immortal.**

**As this was Hidan's language, he did forgive her. He stepped into the river and washed himself off. Tayuya was glaring at him.**

"**What is it?"**

**Silence.**

"**TURN AROUND, BLEEP!! I'M FREAKING UNDRESSED!"**

"**TOO BAD! I DON'T HAVE TO IF I DUN _WANNA_!"**

"**WELL THEN FEEL THE WRATH OF MY FLUTE!"**

"**WHAT **_**FLUTE**_** IS GONNA TAKE ME DOWN?!"**

"**GAAH! YOU STUPID IMMORTAL!"**

"**YOU STUPID BLEEP!"**

"**WHO'RE YOU CALLING STUPID?!"**

"**YOU!!"**

"**GASP!"**

"**JASHIN SHALL BRING JUDGEMENT UPON YOU!"**

"**WHO THE HECK IS JASHIN?!"**

"**THE GOD THAT BLESSED ME WITH IMMORTALITY! THE GOD WHO REWARDS THOSE WHO DESTROY! THE ONE WHO CONSIDERS ANYTHING BUT UTTER DESTRUCTION A SIN!"**

"**THEN HALLELUJAH, I'VE FOUND MY RELIGION!"**

"**YOU'RE BEING BLEEPING SARCASTIC!"**

"**AM NOT!"**

"**ARE SO!"**

"**AM NOT!!"**

"**SO YOU'RE REALLY GONNA FOLLOW JASHIN?!"**

"**OH YES!"**

"**MARRY ME?!"**

"**HELL YEAH!!"**

**#10: Tobi**

"**Mio, please follow me!"**

**Mio, stunned by the suddenness of the request, followed Tobi into the sunny outdoors. He pulled her hand over to an area at which he had set up a picnic!**

"**Aww, Tobi! This is awesome!" Mio sat down on the picnic blanket and Tobi sat across from her.**

"**I invited you here because I wanted to ask you something." Tobi pointed a finger into the air. "Do you think…that Tobi is a good boy?"**

"**Why yes I do. Tobi is a very good boy!"**

"**Then…Mio-chan?" Tobi handed her a chocolate muffin. "Will you marry me?"**

"**What?!"**

"**You're the cutest girl in the world, and you have such a pretty smile, and you're really smart like Tobi, and you like chocolate, and you make me feel all happy inside, and Mio is a good girl!!"**

**Mio swooned over Tobi's adorable cuteness and immediately said yes.**

**THEEEE ENNNND!**


	2. Matters Unsettled

PROPOSALS

**PROPOSALS?!**

**Akatsuki Proposals: MATTERS UNSETTLED**

**A lot has changed since the first chapter…**

**#1 and #3: Pein and Konan: All's goin' well!**

**Pein and Konan have been living their happily married life as the couple to whom no limits apply for piercing numbers…or places. This couple now currently holds the Guinness World Record for Most Piercings.  
Now that Pein is married and understands the many hardships of living with and trying to understand the mind of the opposite gender, he can better tend to the rest of his subordinates, who have been going through many marital problems themselves…and coordinate missions accordingly.**

**#2-#10: Deidara, Tobi and Mio: The Complications of Cuteness**

"**MIOOO, UHN!" Deidara called from another room in their house.**

**Completely overjoyed to hear his call as usual, Mio waltzed away in the direction of the voice. When she found Deidara, he was adjusting his shoes as if he were preparing for an outing.**

"**Leader just gave us information on the whereabouts of that jinchuuriki we've been keeping an eye out for, hm. Let's go show that lowlife the true meaning of art! Un!"**

"**Hmhm, ever-enthusiastic as always to proclaim the beauty of art!" Mio smiled as she, too, fastened her shoes and cloak. They were very used to their life of fast travel and change of plans.**

**Deidara reached into his pocket and brought forth a complex clay figurine of a triple-decker sundae that contained three flavors of ice cream with chocolate fudge, rainbow sprinkles, and four cherries on top for his lovely wife.**

"**I'll give you the honors when we find him, yeah!" He proceeded to hug Mio close. **

**Of course, SOMETHING…erm, SOMEONE had to ruin their happy moment.**

"**Seeempaai, how come you never told me about the jinchuuriki yet?!" Tobi whined, standing right in front of the two with his hands on his hips. "I heard everything you just said. But, if Mio-chan is going, Tobi's going, too! Tobi is her good boy!"**

"_**Her**_** good boy? C'mon Tobi, she's mine, un." Deidara held her even closer and looked at her warmly as a way to confirm it. "Bug off, hm. You're not coming."**

"**Uhh…" Mio scratched her head. "I don't like where this is going…"**

"**But Mio-chan's cute smile is all mine, Sempai!" Tobi tugged on Mio's arm and drew her away from Deidara. **

"**Let go of her or feel the wrath of my beautiful art, hm!!"**

"**I don't need your beautiful art, Sempai! I made Mio-chan some beautiful art of my own!" As if wearing a humungous smile once again, Tobi dashed into the kitchen and back out again.**

**In his hands, specifically for Mio and for Mio only, was a humongous triple-decker sundae he'd prepared with chocolate, strawberry and vanilla ice cream, hot fudge, rainbow sprinkles and four cherries on top.**

"**It's all for you! But, Mio-chan, please know that I think you're sweeter than the biggest sundae in the world!!"**

"**What's up with all this, hm?!" Deidara already had a clay spider climbing up Tobi's mask and threatened to detonate it.**

"**What, you don't know, Sempai? She dumped you and married me!"**

**Deidara was speechless. His eye moved its angry gaze from Tobi to Mio and back. "That can't be true, hm." His spider fell off of Tobi's mask.**

_**Just when I was beginning to think no one would notice…**_**Mio thought.**

"**But it is!" Tobi pointed at Mio. "She ate my chocolate muffin!"**

**Somehow, just somehow, Deidara knew the significance of Tobi's chocolate muffins.**

"**The hell, Mio?! You ate Tobi's muffin?! HM?!"**

"**I was hungry!"….Mio sensed a wave a fury and tightened her shoes one more notch.**

"**Hungry, my art! TOOOBBIII!"**

**Deidara chased Tobi out the door and Mio ran as far away from them as she could for the bombs Deidara decided to use were infused with **_**C-4**_** chakra.**

"**HOW DARE YOU PROPOSE TO HER WHEN YOU KNOW SHE'S MINE, UN!!"**

"**AHHHHHH!!"**

**BOOM**

"**UUUNNNN!"**

"**WWWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! SEMPAII, I COULDN'T RESIST!! AND YOU TWO SERIOUSLY DON'T FIT TOGETHER! SHE'S SOOO CUTE AND YOU'RE SOOO MEAN!"**

**BOOOOM**

"**TOO LATE TO SAY THAT, YEAH! SHE'S MY **_**WIFE**_**, YOU LITTLE !! MY BEAUTIFUL ARTISTIC **_**WIFE!**_**"**

**BOOOOM**

"**CRY LIKE A LOST CHILD, HM!! I'M TAKING YOU DOWN!! ART IS A BLAST! 8D"**

**BOOOOOOOOM**

"**OK! 'MOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYY'!!"**

**BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM**

**Once Tobi was no longer moving, Deidara brushed the dust off of his clothing and walked on over to Mio, who was watching the whole show while sitting on the grass.**

**Deidara offered her his hand. "So, I'm gonna ask you, are you still mine? Hm?"**

**Mio looked back and forth from Deidara's convincing smirk to the ball of flames rolling in the background that was Tobi.**

"**Yeah, I did get a little sidetracked from his cuteness when you got busy with missions, but you're better than he'll ever be!"**

"**That's what I wanna hear, un."**

**Mio broke out into a random fit of laughter.**

"**Heheh, what is it, hm?" Deidara asked, confused.**

"**Be right back," she said as she walked away from him in nothing's general direction. Suddenly, she faced him and sprinted toward him as fast as she could. "TACKLE GLOMP!"**

"**AHH!" Deidara laughed and ran for it.**

**And the two happily continued their life together after having sent Tobi back to Zetsu **_**in a**__**box.**_

**#4-#6-#8: Itachi, Eden, Kakuzu and Kashi: **_**Say what?!**_

**Eden, eyes wide with shock, looked as Orochimaru fell to the ground as prey to the Mangekyo.**

"**I…Itachi!! How could you?!"**

**Itachi, in no hurry to answer her, glared at Orochimaru's dead body to make sure it was really dead. "It had to be done."**

**Eden and Itachi spoke no more and let the silence and coldness of the still room engulf them. Eden slowly crept over to Orochimaru's side and felt that he was cold.**

"**No…" she thought. "No!!"**

**Itachi quickly stepped sideways behind the door.**

"**No!!" Eden heard a shout in the hallway. "I'm not marrying you!...GET AWAY, INFERIOR!"**

"**I'm definitely not inferior," a male voice replied to the first. "I'm far superior than you in every way except for the fact that if I were married to you, I'd be 300 dollars richer. C'mon…You know you want me…"**

"**No! Don't tell me what I know, because you don't know!"**

"**Please?!"**

"**How many times do I have to tell you that I don't wanna marry you?!"**

"**Five million, seven hundred sixty three thousand, two hundred and forty-four times!"**

"**Where the heck did you get that number?!"**

"**It's how much money I'd have if I had 300 more dollars!"**

"**AGHH!"**

**Eden recognized the voices to be Kakuzu and Kashi as fast they grew closer to the door. Itachi had recognized who they were a while before in the silence.**

**Itachi pressed himself up against the in-side of the door and knocked on it three times.**

"**Hm?" Kakuzu said. He walked up to the door and slowly opened it. "Who're you?"**

**Eden looked up at the incredibly tall masked man and replied with her name. Kakuzu didn't care, though – all he saw was Orochimaru on the ground. He stooped down and picked him up by the jacket collar. Once the body's neck was tightened, the transformation jutsu uplifted, revealing a completely different person.**

"_**Say what?!…**_**That's not Orochimaru?!"**

"**Orochimaru? No…This is that spy we've been notified about that has been trying to infiltrate our organization through tactics unknown. Thanks for killing him."**

"…" **Eden looked at the body with utter shock and newfound happiness and relief. "**_**It's not Orochimaru!!**_**"**

"…**You didn't kill him?"**

**Eden glanced at Itachi, on the inside of the open door, and back to Kakuzu who couldn't see him.**

"**AH, well, this spy has a big bounty on his head, so I'll be stealing him."**

**Kakuzu turned around and notified Kashi that Eden was in the room – but he didn't clear himself out of the entryway. "Marry me if you want to see her."**

"**Oh, so now you're bribing me!"**

"**Kakuzu."**

**  
Itachi spoke from behind the door. "Don't ever ask her or bribe her to marry you again."**

"**Why not, Itachi?" Kakuzu glanced at the door from the corner of his eye.**

"**I'll kill you."**

**Kakuzu showed no change of expression and walked silently out of the room and down the hallway alone.**

"**Say what?!" Kashi was stunned as she entered the room. "You got him away from me so easily! Thank you, Itachi-san!"**

"**No problem. Kakuzu wastes everyone's time…" Itachi closed his eyes as he spoke and sighed with disgust. When he opened them, he set their soft stare on Kashi.**

**The three were all silent and didn't know what to say, but in their heads, they were screaming.**

"_**Say what?!**__**That girl RESEMBLES me!"**_

"_**Say what?! Is it me, or is that guy hot?!"**_

"_**Say WHAT?! Look at how they're looking at each other! Those two like each other now?!"**_

**All three opened their mouths to speak at the same time.**

"**You go first," they all told each other.**

**Itachi sat down on the bed and rested his eyes, because he just used the Mangekyo and needed to muster up a little more chakra for his eyes to be at a normal state again.**

**The girls' first instinct was to let the Akatsuki member speak first.**

"**I simply wanted to ask if I could speak to miss Kashi alone…but I don't mind, get out whatever you two need to say."**

**Eden spoke next. "I can't believe you! Itachi, you dump me and some time later go for my best friend?!"**

"**It's better than Orochimaru giving up on **_**me**_** and going for my **_**little brother**_**…"**

**Given Itachi's response, Kashi learned that Itachi maybe felt the same way about her and couldn't help but to stare at Itachi in a weird way.**

**Meeting Kashi's odd gaze, Itachi continued talking to Eden. "I noticed your reaction to the Orochimaru imposter…Hidan is hooked up to someone who follows him."**

"…" **Eden was suddenly filled with excitement, and Kashi took the hint, so she opened the door and yelled for Kakuzu.**

**He IMMEDIATELY teleported to the room. "Did you finally decide you want to marry me and love me and share money and all that crap?"**

"**No. Eden wants you."**

"**But I don't want Eden, I want you!"**

"**NO! I mean, Eden needs you for something."**

**Eden firmly stomped up to Kakuzu. "TAKE. ME. TO. HIDAN. NOOW."**

"**Ok, ok." Kakuzu sighed and gave Kashi the look as he led Eden with him out the door.**

"…" **Kashi fidgeted with her fingers. It was only her, a dark room, a single candle, and Itachi.**

"**We're finally alone," he said. His eyes weren't trembling from exhaustion as bad as they were before.**

**Kashi looked at Itachi, waiting to see if he'd say anything else.**

**He simply stared back and her and smirked.**

**She was utterly confused, so she blinked her eyes a few times.**

**Itachi turned his head slightly to the side, without turning his eyes away, and blinked once.**

**Kashi tried confirming if she understood what he implied by moving her head back slightly, and blinking and pausing a little before opening her eyes again.**

**Itachi relaxed his posture and gave a small "hm".**

"**I'm confused! What do you want?"**

"**I just wanted to see how well you could communicate with your eyes. You 'heard' me…you know exactly what I want."**

"**No. I don't."**

"**Or are you just unwilling to admit that you understood me?" Itachi arose from his sitting position.**

"**I'd rather say I'm second-guessing my interpretation."**

"**And what was your interpretation?"**

"………'**come'?!"**

"**Exactly. But, I guess since you won't come, I'll have to come to you."**

**He walked across the room to Kashi and leaned one arm on the wall.**

**She suddenly started to blink in rapid succession as she looked up at him.**

"**What would you say if I asked you to be my girlfriend?"**

"**Rabbits luffle?!"**

"**Say what?" Itachi raised one eyebrow.**

"**That would be a yes times five million, seven hundred sixty three thousand, two hundred forty-four…"**

"**Hm."**

**The flame of the little candle that lit the room slowly died off into darkness.**

**#5: Zetsu: Together Forever**

**Because he's with himself all the time, the Zetsus eventually didn't care that they were married and continued with their day-to-day cannibalistic plant life.**

**#7: Kisame and Ayame:**

**They eventually had a fish-like daughter in secret named Kisaya, who became third-generation heir to Ichiraku Tsukemen, Ramen and Dangos.**

**#9: Hidan, Tayuya and Eden: BLEEP!**

**Kakuzu and Eden had themselves a two-day walk in silence to a different Akatsuki lair. Along the way, Kakuzu stopped and exchanged the body of the foreign spy for cash, and then they continued on. Hidan chose the other hideout to both get away from Kakuzu and make the distance between himself and Orochimaru's lair shorter.**

"**We're here," Kakuzu told Eden as he pointed to a passage behind a waterfall. **

"**Thank you soooo much! Why did you bother taking me here, anyway?!"**

"**Because I have a mission to do with Hidan soon, so it'd be good for us to get on the same terms as far as recent activities go."**

**Eden and Kakuzu ventured behind the waterfall to find a large cave, a Jashin symbol, a collection of flutes, and two people on top of that Jashin symbol in deep concentration.**

"**They're praying again…" Kakuzu whispered to Eden. "Ah, hell."**

**He suddenly shouted, with his booming deep voice, "HIDAN! TAYUYA! YOU HAVE A GUEST!"**

**Hidan and Tayuya immediately looked up with intense rage.**

"**You freaking startled the crap out of me!" Tayuya said.**

"**Better go change, then," Kakuzu remarked.**

"**Bleep you!" she yelled.**

"**Bleep!! That's no way to treat my wife!"**

"**That's no way to treat a guest, either!" Kakuzu yelled back at them and pointed to Eden.**

"**??" Hidan and Tayuya tried to figure out who she was.**

"**Is that the girl you keep whining about how badly you wanna marry her?" Hidan asked.**

"**No, that would be Kashi. This is Eden. She wants you."**

**Eden stepped forth to speak to Hidan.**

"**You…'want' me?! Didn't I just say I have a wife? It's against the commandments to be with several women at once, no matter how badly I wanna!!"**

"_**Wow," **_**Eden thought, **_**"A decent commandment…" **_**  
"NO, not like THAT!" she said aloud. "I need Miss Tayuya here to take me to someone."**

**Hidan sighed with relief.**

"**Who would that be?" Tayuya arose and walked over to Eden. **

"**Orochimaru-sama."**

"**Orochimaru?! What for?" Tayuya eyed Eden up firmly.**

"**I want to follow him!"**

"**That just makes my life easier, someone who actually wants to follow him right off the bat!" Tayuya turned to Hidan. "You won't mind if I leave for a while and take her to Orochimaru?"**

"**Not at all," Hidan said, "Just as long as you come back!"**

**So, Tayuya led Eden to her master's lair which took several hours. When they arrived at the lair, Tayuya showed Eden the tricks to avoiding the rigged traps and after a few minutes they found the main throne room.**

**Tayuya knocked on the door.**

"**Orochimaru-sama!"**

"**Is that you, Tayuya?" he responded from the other side. "Do come in."**

**Tayuya entered with Eden and knelt down before Orochimaru.**

"**Who is this?" Orochimaru met his eyes with Eden's and he lifted his chin off of his hand.**

"**She goes by the name of Eden and wished for me to bring her here so that she might follow you."**

"**Follow me?"**

**Orochimaru stood and walked to Eden, who stood as still as a statue in his presence. "Am I glad to have you here…However did you hear of me and by whom did you hear of me to decide such a thing on your own?" Orochimaru already knew what happened to her and who she was, but asked the question simply to be safe.**

"**Well…My uh, Lord…I've been with the Akatsuki the past year or so, and a spy tried getting in with your appearance…and proposed to me. I couldn't get his image out of my head, so I decided that I should meet the real Orochimaru when the spy died."**

"**Ah, **_**my **_**poor spy…" Orochimaru sighed. "I directed him to do exactly that."**

"**Really?!" Eden looked at Orochimaru with disbelief.**

"**Yes. I knew that you separated from Itachi in the Akatsuki, so I directed my spy to use my face and '**_**encounter'**_** you along his recent mission."**

**Tayuya took the hint that she was no longer needed in this conversation and left.**

"**Hmhm, my plan worked. You did come."**

"**You…Planned it all?!"**

"**Hm!" Orochimaru smirked and moved a step closer to Eden. He whispered in her ear, "**_**Shall I repeat myself**_**?"**

"…" **Eden was so happy she couldn't speak.**

"**I would like…for you to surrender your all to me," he lifted her head by placing a finger under her chin and staring deeply into her eyes, "for you to obey whatever I tell you to do, help me with experiments and provide useful insight when I need it. In other words, I would like for you to…**_**marry**_** me?"**

"**This time I can actually tell you – Yes!!"**

**And so, Mio and Deidara, Kashi and Itachi, and Eden and Orochimaru contently lived on with the ones they loved…**

**But is it the end?**


End file.
